Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...
So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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