Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey.
Q: "What do you call a Muslim shrink? A: A terrorpist."
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?
What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." 4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can. 5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. 6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. 7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time. 8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.