Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
Husband: Knocks the door at midnight. Wife: Go back where you coming from! Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool! Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool. !!!!..Scheweew..!!!! Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door. Wife: Open the door or I will shout!! Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only a panty and a bra!
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark