Joke #11710

"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, vulgar, kids, insulting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 85.53 % from 289 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, ugly, fat, kids, stupid
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 85.06 % from 3109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, insulting
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
Vote: has 84.20 % from 461 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, relationship, vulgar, school, life
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Vote: has 83.88 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, ugly, insulting
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Vote: has 83.18 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, teacher, kids, food, animal
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Vote: has 82.37 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, god, kids, dad, animal
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, insulting, vulgar, ugly
Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
Vote: has 81.34 % from 1650 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, insulting, kids
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
Vote: has 79.14 % from 236 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, kids, insulting
"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, single, insulting