You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
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Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana
A man walks into a bar one night.
He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"One penny?!", exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied: "Yes!"
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
"Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?", inquires the guy.
"Four cents", he replies.
"Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
A: Man, this music sucks.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic?
A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.
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