My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!