Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Q: Why accountants don't read novels?
A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.
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