Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
Vote:
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms.
Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.