Joke #11847

Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: money, winter

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The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 60.37 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy. 2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. 3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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has 77.38 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: bird, friendship, life, winter
Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money
Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
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has 81.30 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: christian, customer service, doctor, money
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: winter
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, money
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, wife, winter
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dog, food, winter