Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
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Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call.
Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife."
Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him."
Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred.
Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.
But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired.
His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill?
You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now."
Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened.
Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."
"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him.
"That must've been terrible!"
"It was," he said.
"All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die?
A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.