Music teacher tells Peter:
"I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
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Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
A: For fingering a minor.
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class.
She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day.
One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal."
She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves.
She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word.
The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand.
Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story:
"There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower.
There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out.
One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing.
The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!'
So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".
His teacher replies "NO"
Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".
"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.
Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".
She again says "NO".
"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.
"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.
Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"
Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
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How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids.
So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad.
His dad beats the crud outta him.
He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!"
He gets beat by his mom too.
Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white!
She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room.
Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?"
And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
One day a college professor after getting irritated in his college class stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and if there is one then he/she should stand up.
After a minute a young man stands up.
The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot.
The boy replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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The Perfect Man
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical.
Tell jokes.
Sing.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,get a TV!"
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