Joke #1200

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.60 % from 589 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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has 77.84 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, women
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
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has 62.61 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. ''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.'' After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
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has 71.33 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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has 74.87 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife, “Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?” The farmer’s wife replied “It needs to be a little bigger around.” So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around. About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife again “How does it feel now?” The farmer’s wife responded “I think it needs to be a little longer.” So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer. The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife “How was the Martian man?” To this, the farmer’s wife replied “Fine.” “And how about the Martian woman?” The farmer replied, “That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!”
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has 83.10 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, friendship, sex, wife
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
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has 64.90 % from 255 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 59.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 78.17 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women