Joke #1330

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men

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A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can’t wear your pants," she said. "That’s right!" said the husband, "and don’t you forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can’t get into your panties!" She said, "That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude…"
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has 82.48 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, men, wedding
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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has 77.92 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, men, travel, women
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle." The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"
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has 84.91 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, wife