# Joke #1346

Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson. "Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."
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More jokes about: dirty, science, teacher, dirty
Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help. One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay. The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die. So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Vote: has 80.24 % from 317 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, death, music
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
Vote: has 78.59 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, music
Vote: has 78.11 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, game, time
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music, internet, music, celebrity
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, Christmas
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, age, old people
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 36.10 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music, celebrity, alcohol, drug