Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
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Facebook is like a fridge.
Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any panties.
"Is it cooler without panties?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
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I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym.
Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses.
At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."