Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
What do you call a smart blonde? There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is: A miracle
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside. He says, "I will grant you three wishes." The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear." The genie replies, "Your wish is my command." Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?" In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?" The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break? If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."
A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes. When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.