Boy: you left this at my house last night Girl: that aint mine Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
Girl Cop: "You have to right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used against you." Guy: "Boobs!"
Q: Why was Raggedy Ann kicked out of the toybox? A: Because she sat on Pinnochio's face and told him to lie!