Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.