Joke #1508

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.

A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.

You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.

Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? "Beeflt!"

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.

Which rabbits were famous bank robbers? Bunny and Clyde.