Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Men are like buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."