Joke #1579

Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
Vote: has 87.18 % from 164 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, husband, mexican, money
We were so poor we couldn’t get rid of the roaches in our house because they paid half the rent.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, management, stupid
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse 10 miles." He decides to stop in. A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore. The madam says, "I'll need $500 first." The man pays, then asks about his whore again. The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall." He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
Vote: has 80.44 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, travel, money
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, masturbation, money
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, phone, money
A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now." "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account in this damn bank!" "I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"
Vote: has 77.07 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, food, money