Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not.
Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does.
He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life?
A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Vote:
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike?
A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote:
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."