Joke #160

Why does the witch not wear panties when flying? Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.
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has 72.54 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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has 17.25 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, disgusting, women
A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, disgusting, drunk
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
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has 80.21 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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has 67.47 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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has 23.67 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, war
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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has 69.66 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people