Joke #1618

Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men

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A man in a pub asks for a beer. The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar." "One dollar?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?" "Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars." "Two dollars?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"." The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
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has 84.46 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, men, money, wife
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: divorce, light bulb, men
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the honey?...Honey." Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the sugar?...Sugar." So now, the third guy is under pressure. He has to come up with something good. After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, "Pass me the pork...pig."
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: men
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
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has 83.22 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: men
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men, sex