Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?