Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, “You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”
“What dear?” She asked gently.
“I think you bring me bad luck.”
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.