When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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