Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together! 
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Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave
A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
Vote:
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
No, only medium rare.
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet?
A: A free for all.
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man's party.
During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some.
The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime.
After dinner, the second thief comes up with a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him.
He picks up a golden spoon identical to the first and holds it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wishes to show them a magic trick.
"And now..." he speaks to the crowd and points towards the first thief,
"I will put this spoon into my pocket, and remove it from this gentleman here's own pocket!"
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship.
The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need."
The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
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Joke has 49.51 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, mexican, racist, white people
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine.
Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast.
As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female.
The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover.
His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff.
The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer.
Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head.
He just had to save his friend.
The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female.
"Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"