How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
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Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler?
Usain bolt can finish a race...
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen.
The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
The frustrated golfer drove over the river and threw the woods.
Swimming
What's a mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross country.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."