Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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