Joke #1855

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.

What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.

Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.

That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.

A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"

Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.