Joke #1862

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
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has 47.86 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beauty

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Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, stupid
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
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has 81.39 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: beauty, car, dad, driving, teen
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
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has 83.63 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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has 38.25 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top. It's a bad look with his mullet.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bible, life
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do" then leaned toward the priest and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The priest put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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has 54.51 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, priest, wedding
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
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has 62.77 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women