Joke #1907

Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman? 4 drinks.

A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.

Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions? A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.

There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.

Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.