Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
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A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children,
"Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep."
"Why to the waist", the children interested.
"Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you."
The mother returned and her children met her at the door,
"Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep."
"Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?"
"Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.