Joke #2176

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning? "Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
Vote:
has 23.34 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Vote:
has 85.53 % from 1070 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, time
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
Vote:
has 81.61 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Vote:
has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sport, stupid, time, women
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
Vote:
has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, time, travel
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
Vote:
has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, time
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?" The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"
Vote:
has 75.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, time, travel
blonde asked someone what time it was, and the person told her it was 3:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Vote:
has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Vote:
has 72.89 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live. She chose last week and this week.
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, life, stupid, time
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work