What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? "You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away all the W's!
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme.
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer? They want to navigate over the internet.
What does a Blonde say during a porno? There I am!
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" "Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that." A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. "No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.