Joke #2249

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."

Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.

Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.

A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.