Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Murphy's Laws of Computing 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.