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What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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What goes black white black white...?
A penguin rolling down a hill!
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him!
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong.
Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy."
"Like what?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't."
Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that?
You're not a prude or anything."
"No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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