How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
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Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?"
The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he can make you curious.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.