Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Where do sharks come from? Sharkago.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"