Joke #2355

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
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has 41.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
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has 78.92 % from 2507 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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has 67.31 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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has 72.62 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 57.83 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
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has 52.09 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"? A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
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has 74.99 % from 631 votes. More jokes about: sex
I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
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has 78.75 % from 1152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 71.65 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs? A: Because they have to!
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has 36.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, sex, women
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
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has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar