Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
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Q: Why is it OK for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
A guy goes to a house of prostitution.
He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed.
She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand.
He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her.
He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there.
He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"
The fireman says, "No!"
The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."
An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
“Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”
“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried.
When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hell was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look!
A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
A man and a blonde are at an ATM.
The man says "I know you'r pincode, it's ****" and the blonde says "No it's not! It's 4829!"
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"