How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.