Joke #2373

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
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has 14.74 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, kids, old people, time
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
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has 77.06 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, husband, life, marriage
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.64 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 45.24 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, life