Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff?
A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.