Joke #2397

What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
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has 72.57 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do cows like being told joke? Because they like being amoosed.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, “Tsquare, do your stuff.” T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?” The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.25 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
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has 61.39 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex