Joke #2398

Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
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There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook." "Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home." Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman." "What happened?" asks the guy. "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What happened then?" asks the guy. "Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot. "Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?" "I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
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has 71.80 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: animal, gay, money
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 63.74 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
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has 36.07 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people