Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree. They all get out and discuss how to fix the car. The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’ The engineer says, ‘That would take too long. I have my penknife here. I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’ The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
I’ve got one those special filter programmes on my Internet access. It’s really handy, it blocks out everything except porn sites.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
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