The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer.
No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.
As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did.
How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield.
The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck.
The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down.
So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...
"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!"
Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia.
‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor.
‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer.
‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"