Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.